A few words on writing and uncertainty
On writing
If you had a chance to read the essay on Tove Jansson’s short stories, you’ll have seen that one of them involves a woman who thinks her art is of high quality without realising that it’s actually minor and ridiculous.
It’s the perfect shorthand for anyone who, like me, feels that they have no guide-rails when it comes to sharing work that they’re uncertain about, as I am with these essays.
It is so much easier with other kinds of writing! Academic writing, for instance. It takes time and, ideally, a helping hand to learn how to do that, and it can be nerve-wracking in its own way. But at the end of the day, academic writing really does have fairly straightforward criteria for “good,” or rather for “good enough.” Clarity matters, and structure, and the depth and judiciousness of the research, and the rigorousness of the analysis. Writing that misses any of that in a major way isn’t “good enough” and probably should not go out into the world yet.
But with essays like this, there are no guide-rails. I don’t even know what the basic criteria would be, other than to say things that seem worth saying in the best way that one is capable of. To give pleasure, to the best of one’s capacity. To dive into difficult topics lightly, to share other people’s ideas in interesting ways.
But how to know if one has succeeded at any of that?
It’s just all so uncertain.
In the Tove Jansson story, the maker of the ridiculous art gets her materials to do exactly what she wants them to do, and she goes around giving her work to everyone, filled with joy at having created something worth creating. The child who receives it knows that she shouldn’t really like it, it’s ridiculous. But she thinks it’s beautiful even so.
With these essays, I’m just accepting the uncertainty of not knowing whether they are good or not. I’ll just do the best I can and send them out when they have reached the limit of my capacity to make them better. If they just make someone happy, or add anything to anyone, I'm willing to be the ridiculous artist who doesn’t realize how bad her art is. And that truly is ok.
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Thank you for sharing these thoughts! I can very much relate. On the one hand, I know I can’t appeal to everybody so my criteria has to be: Is my writing something I would want to read? But what if nobody else finds it the least bit interesting or valuable? If only I had a focus group, or at least an editor, maybe I wouldn’t need to agonize over it before I publish each time!
Thanks for sharing!! This feels like a very poetic representation of what I tried to shine light on in my version. Absolutely love it 😍